She's JV to your varsity
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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