It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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