I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
