Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
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It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
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He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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