your parents love me but you hate me
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
