I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
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The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
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our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
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