No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
