I hope mine doesn't look like that
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
