okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I don't deserve a penis
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize