I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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