Already got asked if we're dating
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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