You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
