I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
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I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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