You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize