my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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