my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize