Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just found a bag of teeth...
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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