What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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