I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
