fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize