Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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