The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
21 Worst Confessions on a First Date
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!