so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass