In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.