Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
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You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
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Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot