I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy