bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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