fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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