I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We had sex on a dog bed..
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
