Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
