If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
