Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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