i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
