She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize