Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
