We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
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I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
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Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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