I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
