Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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