his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
