i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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