I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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