I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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