I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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