as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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