I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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