I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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