you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i permit you to call me
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
