In the future we'll all be gay
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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