Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize