When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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