Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize