I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
