obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We have started to decorate penises.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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