Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
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my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning