my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.