I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.