His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.