yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
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I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
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I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?