You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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