So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
