Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
