Where is the hickey?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
