I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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