My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
